Welcome to the new and improved Lyrics section. Below are all the Real PD songs currently featured, listed in alphabetical order.
Click on song name to find the lyric. Clicking on the song title will then play a wma or mp3 file of the song. Have yourself a little PD Karaoke!
Deutschland (A Slip of the Tongue)
I'll Be Your Christmas Present
Unobtrusive (If I Get Close to You)
Why Doesn't Love Make the News?
She doesn't wanna talk
and I don't blame her
they're ganging up to tease
in giggles by the lockers
She must be very brave
but gets no credit
School is just the cruellest place of all
I'm starting to believe
Normal is weird
and weird is normal
I'm starting to believe
Normal is weird
and weird is normal
Normal
Weird, you're weird, you're weird, you're weird
Now as a woman she's alone
At the office party
She thinks she's looking through a window
at people having fun on the other side
It's a window she can't open
But I don't think she needs to
Insinuations sting but, after all,
She probably has better things to do.
I'm starting to believe
Normal is weird
and weird is normal
I'm starting to believe
Normal is weird
and weird is normal
Normal
Weird, you're weird, you're weird, you're weird
Am I normal?
Am I normal?
Am I normal?
...well, am I?
I'm starting to believe
Normal is weird
and weird is normal
I'm starting to believe
Normal is weird
and weird is normal
Normal
Weird, you're weird, you're weird, you're weird
Am I normal?
Am I normal?
Oh....
Words & Music © Real PD 2008
I have been keeping OK
More than that I cannot say
I pass your building every day
Except when I stay home
I want to say what I don’t dare say
Should I? Would I?
I want to touch you but you’d only pull away
Could I? Say goodbye?
Time won’t heal it only fades
I’ll learn to live with my mistakes
This will be my last intrusion
To interrupt your dark seclusion
I fake it well enough
To function through the pain
There’s still no sign of Superman
Down here on Leppings Lane
Time stands still but this year rushes
I’m tired of beating round your bushes
I’m still in love with you
Is that direct enough for you?
I want to know what I don’t want to know
Are you? Did you?
I want you to stay but I’ve really gotta go
Have you? With you?
Once again my life is fêted
And all emotion dislocated
Everything we never say
Is hanging in the air today
Time won’t heal
It only fades
I’ll learn to live with my mistakes
So this will be my last intrusion
To interrupt my dark seclusion
I can’t believe there’s no one else
You’d rather just be by yourself
On and on with no conclusion
Enjoy your self-enforced seclusion
I still don’t think it’s really over
So let this be the final coda
You’ll find me suff’ring from exposure
Lost in this wilderness of closure
Music & lyrics © Real PD 2007
The hurt has been and gone
The winter's over
Bye bye pain
Hello happiness!
I’m on the train
I’m coming back again
to Summertown
You may be gone
But life still goes on
And now I see my old ambitions
Fading in the winter’s light
If the world is wrong then I am in the mood to put it right
Amidst my doubts
I know that Summertown is where I want to be
Amidst my doubts
I know that Summertown is where I want to be
Feel the sun and the breaking waves
in Summertown
I may be alone but life still goes on
And I just need some space now
just for a little while
If you have someone
It only cramps your style
Amidst my doubts
I know that Summertown is where I want to be
Amidst my doubts
I know that Summertown is where I want to be
Hey eh oh
Ah ah ah ah nana nooo
Amidst my doubts
I know that Summertown is where I want to be
Amidst my doubts
I know that Summertown is where I want to be
Amidst my doubts
I know that Summertown is where I want to be
Amidst my doubts
I know that Summertown is where I want to
...be
The hurt has been and gone
The winter's over
Bye bye pain
Hello happiness!
Set me free why dontcha babe
Get outta my life, why dontcha babe
It seems you didn't really love me
So you won't keep me hanging on, no no
The hurt has been and gone
The winter's over
Bye bye pain
Hello happiness!
Music & lyrics © Real PD 1988/2008
Contains an teensy interpolation of 'You Keep Me Hangin' On' by Holland/Dozier/Holland. We're hoping they don't mind.
Delia is riding on a train
Men sent her away
No one hears the music in machines
Nor sees the world her way
You’re never gonna find a better place than here
You’re never gonna find a better girl than Delia
(Delia, Delia, Delia)
Delia is woman, she is hope
Spinster fingers tease
Oscillators
’Till they give birth
To waves lapping inner ears
You’re never gonna find a better place than here
You’re never gonna find a better girl than Delia
(Delia, Delia, Delia)
{Kaleidophon
Electric Storm
Of 1969
Hodgson, Vorhaus
Zinovieff
Wait on the other side}
Delia ecstatic and sublime
A tongue beyond words
Vibration sweet and healing to the touch
Milk to suck and subvert
You’re never gonna find a better place than here
You’re never gonna find a better girl than Delia
(Delia, Delia, Delia)
{Lascivious
Sophisticate
Enter the Watermill
Newley
The Floyd
Yoko Ono
The silence and the shrill…
Stockhausen
Scott
Zinovieff
Unit Delta Plus
Tunnel visions
Of deepest space
Shower in cosmic dust.
...Go make your bed
In deepest space
And beam it back to us.}
© Real PD 2008
Police Dog¯
I've been a police dog
Ever since I was a puppy
I've been a police dog
Since I came out of my mummy
Lunging at men as they pass by
A swatch of plaid smells of sweat and Old Spice
Aahhh
Take a bite take a bite
I've been a police dog
Ever since I was a puppy
I've been a police dog
Since I came out of my mummy
I am a police dog
And my handler is my buddy
Ooh I want to nuzzle
But I am trapped here in this muzzle
Lunging at the man on the pushbike
A swatch of plaid
Smells of sweat and Old Spice
Feel my bite
Feel my bite
Feel my bite now
So I'm a police dog
And I am cute and I am naughty
Yeah, I'm Police Dog
Rubbing up against authority
I am a police dog
And won't you handle me?
Even though I am a police dog
'Cause my handler is my buddy
Alsatians got 911 on speed dial
In Dűsseldorf, wearing shoes made for dwarves
The sound of the gun makes me run
I am a police dog
I am the coolest of accessories
Yeah I am a police dog
You don't wanna mess with me!
I sniff out my man in the ID parade
You can change the cologne but you can't change the plaid
You can see in his eyes he's afraid
I've been a police dog
Ever since I was a puppy
I've been a police dog
Since I came out of my mummy
Are you a police dog
It gets so lonely
CB radio
Or you can phone me
Codename Police Dog
(Police Dog)
Music and lyrics © Real PD 2008
Leave the house and join the others
In a secret bar
Take a drag, and exhale slowly
Listening for that car
Some dance in fear and ignorance,
They’d kill to raise an eyebrow
Now get the plot: it’s getting hot
Legs emerge from a limo
Dignity and Excellence
Twin sisters who know how to dance
They reveal a higher way
To the child who dares to play
…and Dignity speaks to me and says…
‘Act your age
but don’t betray it;
Don’t try too hard to be weird.’
…and Excellence adds…
‘Smooth the big waves
but don’t stagnate;
Never rush into growing a beard.’
They oscillate from gay to straight
From cerebral to carnal.
They’re focussed yet
They’re freewheeling
So heavenly-infernal!
Dignity and Excellence
Twin sisters who know how to dance
They reveal a higher way
To the man who dares to stay
Twin sisters
Getting to know the twin sisters
Twin sisters
Getting to know the twin sisters
Dignity and Excellence
Twin sisters who know how to dance
They reveal a higher way
To the man who dares to stay
We’re going to groove in time
With the tensions of the world;
All pretensions gone, we do not say a word
Burn your flag with pride
Love is open wide
And you can’t stuff a white dove in a pigeon-hole
Dignity and Excellence
Twin sisters who know how to dance
They reveal a higher way
To the child who dares to play
Twin sisters
Getting to know the twin sisters…
music and lyrics © Real PD 2005
(Where you gonna be tonight?
Won't you come with me tonight?)
Love is a lizard slinking past
where you recline in the summer grass
He fixes you with his beady eye
and says 'Come with me
and I'll get you high'
Yes, I know you heard him speak
So sibilant and indiscreet
Now you're beating a retreat
Animals trace your body heat
Don't go into the lounge!
There's a lizard
Sitting in your favourite seat
Don't go into work!
There's a lizard
Hidden in the handshake at the meet 'n' greet
I am a gekko on a sunscorched stone
Cookin' up my blood so cold
A cool komodo on a mound of earth
Brooding on a virgin birth
Now the chorus line is kicking
Makes you wanna see smell touch taste hear
Tempting tongue is forked and flicking
The voice upon your shoulder is so queer
Don't go into the lounge!
There's a lizard
Sitting in your favourite seat
Don't go into work!
There's a lizard
Hidden in the handshake at the meet 'n' greet
(Where you gonna be tonight?
Won't you come with me tonight?)
Oh my Godzilla
Rising forth
On a tidal wave of forbidden thought
Crashing over a citizen
Who's a landlocked amphibian
Don't go into the lounge!
There's a lizard
Sitting in your favourite seat
Don't go into work!
There's a lizard
Hidden in the handshake at the meet 'n' greet
Uh-oh
Uh-oh
Love is a lizard
Uh-oh
Uh-oh
Love is a lizard
Don't go into the lounge!
Don't go into work!
Don't go into town!
Don't go into the bar!
Don't go into school!
Don't look into the mirror, baby.
Words & music © Real PD 2007
Weee-oooh
Coming through the ether
Wooo-ooo-ooo-ooh
Summoned up to please ya
Wooh-ooh you’ve got principles
And with a single click now
Perform your magic trick now
Ooo-ooh you’ve got principles
People tell you that nothing comes for free
You’re denying the existence of the royalty
You’re in complete control of your own anarchy
Yahoo! Down the wire of lime now
Bluetooth and in quadruple time now
You’ve got principles
There are rumours of court cases
Headlines and reddening faces
(but not for you ’cause)
You’ve got principles
You say music is a human need
As long as you don’t use those ugly words like greed
Upload, download and reseed
Indeed
You’ve got principles
Weee-oooh
Coming through the ether
Wooo-ooo-ooo-ooh
Summoned up to please ya
Wooh-ooh you’ve got principles
And with a single click now
I am a clever dick now
He’s got principles
She’s got principles
We’ve got principles
music and lyrics © Real PD 2006
Muriel
I don’t mind
And you don’t care
Muriel
I don’t mind
And you don’t care
If all the stars in the sky
Burned up and switched off tonight
You’d still be there
You know you’d still be there
My dreams blew up in my face
Like fireworks
Your dreams spread their wings and flew away
Warnings on TV
In the Seventies
Had not prepared me
New dreams can come and take their place
Muriel
I don’t mind
And you don’t care
Muriel
I don’t mind
And you don’t care
If all the stars in the sky
Burned up and switched off tonight
You’d still be there
You know you’d still be there
Surprise! Chance to choose again
Friendship rebranded
At the same crossroads
But with wounded pride
Your Discman on shuffle
My cry was muffled
But you felt it and came running to my side
Muriel
I don’t mind
And you don’t care
Words & Music © Real PD 2007
Every year in D.C.
They have a high heel race
Marguerita’s going: she’s riding the subway with stilettos in her suitcase
Run from JR’s Bar & Grill
at 17th and Church Street
down to Annie’s Steakhouse
where you down it neat
Sweet!
Marguerita’s bending
To fix the straps on her Giorgia Galassi’s
Marguerita’s not pretending
To be bitchslap-happy
It takes a lot of focus
To erect a brickwall
To set herself to stunning
Upon the starting pistol
The high heel race
Euphoric and jostling for space
Before it’s through and it’s
Straight back to the back of the queue
Marguerita says, you see the same faces every year
Women who are part-time men
Men who are not really here
There are blisters stabbing
Stabbing you like spears
And there are squeals of laughter
Louder than the taunts of ‘queers!’
Street! (Watch them go now…)
The high heel race
In slo-mo and grabbing for grace
Before it’s through and it’s
Straight back to the back of the queue
Well we may not all be burdened
With footwear quite so fabulous
And so impractical
That it bars our escape
But in our own way
Isn’t every one of us hobbling blindfold
Before we reach the finishing tape?
The winner’s place
Annie’s the spirit in your face
The high heel prize is to be
Inches nearer the sky
Her smooth legs covered
by overalls of municipal blue
Yes now it’s through
Marguerita, he sweeps the streets too
Words & Music © Real PD 2007
Tomorrow I will get my wish
I’ll see you made of liquorice
And after second helpings
I’ll still want to lick the dish
River engulf the building
It’s raging on both sides
Issuing a warning!
You’ve gotta shoot the rapids
Before it rises high
You’ve got to get inside
Hear my blood accelerate
When your tongue speak
Filthy Liquorice
See you project acetate
You won’t wait
Filthy Liquorice
Sensation! Sherbert in my throat
I’d throw away the black stuff
Boys in the band
Can’t get enough
That sticky dirty factory floor
River engulf the building
It’s raging on both sides
Issuing a warning!
You’ve gotta shoot the rapids
Before it rises high
You’ve got to get inside
A civic space
So privately
You whisper
Filthy Liquorice
And when you call me
I realise
In your eyes
Mmm, Filthy Liquorice
River engulf the building
It’s raging left and right
Aquarium is dawning
Now can you take Niagra?
Because I’m gonna grab ya
Go get your wetsuit wetter
Go hell for chamois leather
Hear my blood accelerate
When your tongue speak
Filthy Liquorice
See you project acetate
You won’t wait
Filthy Liquorice
A civic space
So privately
You whisper
Filthy Liquorice
And when you ring me
I realise
In your eyes
Mmm, Filthy Liquorice
Words & music © Real PD 2007
I looked up to the sky
Feeling certain
Of the solar system, Iron Curtain
All the boundaries were fixed
I was five then
We’re on our mission
We’re downsizing Pluto
To hell with tradition
We’re downsizing Pluto
Kid, life’s gonna challenge all that you know
Your planets neat in a row
Ten pins you bowl
If you knock down your soul
Call it Pluto
We’re on our mission
We’re downsizing Pluto
To hell with tradition
We’re downsizing Pluto
...and the reason you’re scared
Lasses and laddies
Is because you don’t know
If we’re goodies or baddies
But now I scan the sky
I can’t find you
You’re downgraded to dust
In the black void
And it’s hard not to feel
A bit destroyed
We’re on our mission
We’re downsizing Pluto
To hell with tradition
We’re downsizing Pluto
...and the reason you’re scared
Lasses and laddies
Is because you don’t know
If we’re goodies or baddies
(We’re on our mission: rationalising
We’re on our mission: hope capsizing
We’re on our mission: proselytising
We’re on our mission: thunderthighsing)
Words & music © Real PD 2007
Old man in a prison cell
With a sketchpad on his knee
(he says)
How did such a fate befall me?
I was only drawing pictures
I was only raising smiles
How I would like to be beside the seaside!
Life in 1953
So safe, so bland, so boring
But don’t worry, hope’s alive:
Donald is drawing
Stalin stalks the saucy seaside
Bristling at the titillation
No, not from rows of windcheaters
hiding weatherbeaten grannies,
He’s browsing round the carousels
That display Donald’s creations:
Drippy vicars, nobs and knockers
English as a cup of tea
Uncle Donald’s in the dock
and charged with obscenity
Bulges, bums, décolletages
Threaten the social order
Purge your mind and wash your mouth!
Put Donald to the slaughter
Old man in a prison cell
Look again – he’s not alone
He basks in the shade of a buxom barmaid in a polka dot
All around him cuckolds prancing
And the nubile bathers dancing
They will lift his shattered spirits
From King’s Lynn to Bognor Regis
Celebrate his illustrative genius
As the cards burn
Tokens of a phantom Commie plot
Life in 1953
So safe, so bland, so boring
He’s not broken, merely bowed
Donald’s still drawing
An eye for truth
A lust for life
While Middle England’s snoring
They’d do better to watch their letter box
’Cause Donald is drawing.
Words & Music © Real PD 2007
Here comes Mesmer
With his spinning pupils
Puts you under with a glance
Gives your mates thrills
He is of the lineage of Rasputin
From the Soviet to the Students’ Union
He’ll cure you of your lisp
He’ll make your body stiff
And then he will suspend you
Across the backs of two chairs
Submit! O submit
To rules we are keeping
Touching is permitted
But only while sleeping…
Brutes become cute guys
Roll over like puppies
They beg you to pet them and
Tickle their tummies
Join us
We congregate
To watch hypnotised kids dance
Log on
And stay up late
To watch hypnotised kids dance
…and as they dance
We fall into a trance
Here comes Mesmer with his pocket watch out
He’s the master of your mind, better watch out
Or he’ll have you biting into onions
See you spasming under electric current
The digits that control
Now counting out the dough
He’s taking it in twenties
From the Social Committee
Cast off inhibition
In your public slumber
The codes that contain you
The names and the numbers
And everyone’s jealous to see you unbridled
So guileless the freedom
Too wild to aspire to
Join us
We congregate
To watch hypnotised kids dance
Log on
And stay up late
To watch hypnotised kids dance
…Freedoms we contemplate
As we watch hypnotised kids dance
Who’s caught and who’s the bait?
Is it the hypnotised kids who dance?
Words & music © Real PD 2007
The signs are there
For those who read them
A silhouette flashed on the sky
There is a call
And those who answer
Had better have no fear of heights
Who’s gonna wear the catsuit, honey?
Many want to
Few will say so
Who’s gonna wear the catsuit
You flash your nape
You throw that shape
I’ll wear the leopard print
And go where I’m bidden
You live inside the skin
Where nothing is hidden
My heart’s getting torn
by the paws of a kitten
The bitter spray from citrus peel
The poison tang of polish
Eliciting the gallstone face
Yours is an arcane knowledge
So you’re gonna wear the catsuit, honey
It’s only natural, you’re so slinky
You’re gonna play Puss in Boots, honey
From the Pharoah’s tomb to the alleys of the City
I’ll hide between tiger stripes
Avoid getting bitten
But you take another swipe
My gosh I am smitten
My heart’s getting torn at the paws of a kitten
Back once again with the catsuit ladies
Dogs gonna snarl but they’re never gonna phase me
I’m living in leisure but never call me lazy
Thought I was a grown up when I was still a baby
Cause I was big big leggie like Hayzee Fantayzee
Thought everyone was sane and it was me who was crazy
But with a swish of a tail every thing went hazy
And now I’m here and in amongst the catsuit ladies
I’ll wear the leopard print
I’ll borrow the bracelet
But you live inside the skin
You’re one with the make-up
You’re regally brushing past
You’re reigning – I’m pawing
You
scatter detached disdain on all who adore you
My heart has been robbed
by a thief in a catsuit
Music & Lyrics © Real PD 2007
When you’re walking down a street you never been before
And you catch this flow a-floating out an open door
Tasty noises that you haven’t heard since 1980
Words poetical and simultaneously weighty
Beats going through you like colonic irrigation
Collaborating with us leads to similar sensations
Do you dare to face us in our latest incarnation?
Our rhythm is a mystery without elucidation
It’s getting cold out there
So put on all your clothes
And second guess the door policy
of Club Real PD
And the dress code is the red robes
For that choir vibe
Members only getting in free
Show your secret sign
Cut the platitudes
I’ll give you gratitude
For flowerprints with attitude
We are the Real PD
We kill your idols
Come to our hotel full of decibels
See the Jezebels feed their lovers Baby Bels
And at the poolside there’s a whiff of cyanide
Rapper checking in dressed as a Girl guide
Checking out locking lips with a parasite
In the cocktail bar with Sunny D and Bromide
Get down here and we’ll see you in our sandpit
It’s a ball of wool - unravel it
It’s getting cold out there
So put on all your clothes
And second guess the door policy
of Club Real PD
And the dress code is the red robes
For that choir vibe
Members only getting in free
Show your secret sign
Cut the platitudes
I’ll give you gratitude
For flowerprints with attitude
We are the Real PD
We kill your idols
Did we tell you that we also run an airline
A range of Perfumes and a premium rate phoneline
One of us makes naughty films (but this is just a sideline)
It’s all underground - won’t hear it on the grapevine
So the moral is choose PD when you’re getting dressed
But like Shania we are just not easily impressed
It’s about the intellect, the artifice, the pose
There is more to a closet than clothes
music and lyrics © Real PD 2006
Hey, it’s been awhile
And my my you’re looking peeky
Let me take you to a clinic for cynics
Where all the doctors are freaky
And they say…
Take your vitamins
Every little bit of ‘em
Take your vitamins
Vitamin P to the vitamin D
Primordial soup in our tureen
The building blocks of life serene
Have you walked into a cave full of Smarties…
Or a house of correction?
I’m not Kim Wilde, but take another step closer
And I’ll supplement your life with my sweet confection
Take your vitamins
Every little bit of ‘em
Take your vitamins
Vitamin P to the vitamin D
Send in the clones and the marines
Before you know it you’re a part of the new regime
Take your vitamins
Every little bit of ‘em
Take your vitamins
Vitamin P to the vitamin D
music and lyrics © Real PD 2006
Pop’s grown sick and old
By inclination a whore
Pop is in crisis
Popjustice must be restored
Take That lead to Boyzone who begat Westlife
They take all our money and give us sh*te
50 Cent filling heads with crap
James Blunt winning the best pop act
Don’t call that justice!
Rachel Stevens and Annie are on the street
Another popstar getting dropped every week
Don’t call that justice!
Keane and Coldplay embrace Snow Patrol
All your whingeing and moaning
It makes me feel old
50 Cent filling heads with crap
James Blunt winning the best pop act
Don’t call that justice!
Rachel Stevens and Annie are on the street
Another popstar getting dropped every week
I need popjustice!
Corinne Bailey Rae
Won’t you please go away?
Shack up with Jack Johnson
And put your records on (the fire)
Reality TV, a load of Lisa Scott Lee
The death of Smash Hits and
TOTP
Airwaves sounding pretty ugly
Everyone’s searching for the new Jeff Buckley
Don’t call that justice
Artists from a serious stable
Making manure for my coffee table
But I love popjustice
I heart popjustice
I heart popjustice
I heart popjustice
Lyrics © Real PD 2006
Music... to be honest, it's by Bananarama, innit. Please go check out their original track 'Rough Justice' if you like this.
Delia is riding on a train
Men sent her away
No one hears the music in machines
Nor sees the world her way
You’re never gonna find a better place than here
You’re never gonna find a better girl than Delia
(Delia, Delia, Delia)
Delia is woman, she is hope
Spinster fingers tease
Oscillators
’Till they give birth
To waves lapping inner ears
You’re never gonna find a better place than here
You’re never gonna find a better girl than Delia
(Delia, Delia, Delia)
{Kaleidophon
Electric Storm
Of 1969
Hodgson, Vorhaus
Zinovieff
Wait on the other side}
Delia ecstatic and sublime
A tongue beyond words
Vibration sweet and healing to the touch
Milk to suck and subvert
You’re never gonna find a better place than here
You’re never gonna find a better girl than Delia
(Delia, Delia, Delia)
{Lascivious
Sophisticate
Enter the Watermill
Newley
The Floyd
Yoko Ono
The silence and the shrill…
Stockhausen
Scott
Zinovieff
Unit Delta Plus
Tunnel visions
Of deepest space
Shower in cosmic dust.
...Go make your bed
In deepest space
And beam it back to us.}
music and lyrics © Real PD 2005
You musta eaten a jumping bean
‘Cause you can’t sit still
No you can’t sit still
Yeah, you musta eaten a jumping bean
And it makes me ill
Yeah it makes me ill
You’re jumping all over the globe
Making money from black gold
Woah oh woah Jumping Bean
They call you Duke Jumping Bean
You musta gone for the Black Forest Cake
‘Cause the trees are charred and burning in your wake
Yeah you must have a taste for the Black Forest Cake
Cause you leave destruction in your wake
Bring the world in on a tray
I’ve heard you like it best flambé
Woah oh woah Jumping Bean.
They call you Duke Jumping Bean
Fear wears so many disguises
Waking up to sick surprises
You make me turn my TV off
When I see your monkey face
I cannot bear to see your face
You sidestep diplomatic dances
Your axis of ignorance is
Scaring me
When are you ever ever gonna stop?
Because you’re never gonna stop now…
Guess I’ll see you at the Carvery
Viscera your cup of tea
Guess I’ll see you at the Carvery
Viscera your cup of tea
You only have to name your price
You’re drooling for another slice
Woah-oh Jumping Bean.
They call you Duke Jumping Bean.
You must have gone for the mature Brie
’Cause you’re cheesy-stinky-ornery
You must have gone for the mature Brie
’Cause you’re cheesy-stinky-ornery
Your religion starts to smell
When you use it to whip up bloody hell
Woah-oh Duke Jumping Bean
They call you Duke Jumping Bean.
Fear wears so many disguises
Waking up to sick surprises
You make me turn my TV off
When I see your monkey face
I cannot bear to see your face
You sidestep diplomatic dances
Your axis of ignorance is
Scaring me
When are you ever
Ever gonna stop?
Because you’re never gonna stop now…
music and lyrics © Real PD 2005
I'll Be Your Christmas Present ¯
I'll be your Christmas present this year
I'll wipe away your tears and fears
I'll try to make you see my way
And it'll feel like Christmas every day
The winter sun
Shines through the trees
You know that I
live for days like these
I'll be your Christmas present this year
I'll wipe away your tears and fears
I'll try to make you see my way
And it'll feel like Christmas every day
(every day
every day)
Words & music © Real PD 1984
Picking up momentum like a hurricane
That started with a pair of swirling leaves
You were so demure in the jeans you wore
But now you’re growing
Gonna spilt the seams
But it’s OK
You’ve got the ethics, girl
To guide you through the moral maze
Sometimes even the wise men say
If it feels so right it can’t be wrong
Like a nun you always glided high above lust
Looked down haughty from a cloud called class
Now in your mind
You’re on a three-mile escalator ride
Behind the perfect asp
It’s OK
You’ve got the ethics, girl
To guide you through the moral maze
Sometimes even Confuscious say
If it turns your head then tag along
Mmm it’s OK
You’ve got the ethics, girl
To guide you through the moral maze
Sometimes even Confuscious say
If it feels so right it can’t be wrong
Forget your scruples
Come on and shake your noodles
Garnish it with croutons
Let’s unroll the futon, baby
Lose your marbles
Drop the Ena Sharples
It’s time to limber up
We’re gonna score and win the cup
The eyes of love have laser beams
To melt the belt of chastity
Time to drop the Snickers
‘Cause we’re going for a Marathon
We’re coupling a chain
And we’re calling it a caravan of love
Take a test drive on our bumpy little caravan of love.
Words & music © Real PD 2006
Unobtrusive (If I Get Close to You)¯
There was a woman in Sweden
Who married her stalker
She said the round-the-clock attention
Made her feel important
Well I am nothing like that lady
And even less like her admirer
Cause I believe in having room to breathe
I believe in hanging fire
If I get
If I get close to you
I’m never gonna hem you in
I’ll never pretend that I own you babe
And I won’t ask you where you been
I’ll try to be there when you need me
Not gonna tease or be elusive
But when you need to be on your own sometimes
I can be real unobtrusive
That’s the love I choose to give
That’s the way I want to live
In the night my love’s a beacon
That strengthens, sweetens, never weakens
Let’s take a walk into the city
Down to the big park
Here comes a parade of young lovers
Who cannot be prised apart
But tell me how they can be dancing
Treading on each other’s toes?
And tell me how this can be music
With no space between the notes?
If I get
If I get close to you
I’m never gonna hem you in
I’ll never pretend that I own you babe
And I won’t ask you where you been
I’ll try to be there when you need me
Not gonna tease or be elusive
But when you need to be on your own sometimes
I can be real unobtrusive
That’s the love I choose to give
That’s the way I want to live
In the night my love’s a beacon
That strengthens, sweetens, never weakens
Words & Music © 2007 Real PD
cha-cha-cha
Life in danger
She was a stranger
Life in danger
She was a stranger
She was only twenty-four
when she walked out the back door
She went off and marched to war
We never saw her again
Life in danger
She was a stranger
Life in danger
She was a stranger
Life in danger
She was a stranger
to the other folks on the boat
When they sailed
And they loudhailed
We are going to
We are going to
We are going to
Crash!
Words & Music © Real PD 1984
You’re so beautiful
Even when you show me that you’re ugly
I know it’s just a screen
It’s just the dazzle
Just the glare of sunlight on a stream
They saved you a seat
But you’re not that person
They filled up your glass
But it’s not your drink
They sewed you a suit
And though it’s haute couture
It goes on like a straightjacket
If you ever do one thing for me
Be who you are
Don’t let anyone tell you who to be
Be who you are
You’ve a tender heart
Even when you show me that you’re bitter
Show me that you’re hard
You can’t disguise it
So let it be revealed
Without reprisals
They saved you a seat
But you’re not that person
They filled up your glass
But it’s not your drink
They sewed you a suit
And though it’s haute couteur
It goes on like a straightjacket
If you ever do one thing for me
Be who you are
Don’t let anyone tell you who to be
Be who you are
That we can be together is a sad impossibility
Be who you are
I can say to you with excellence and dignity
Be who you are
If you ever do one thing for me
Be who you are
Words & Music © Real PD 2007
You’re the first one awake in your house
So you open the curtains and look out
You’re the first one awake in your town
And you feel like the first one on earth
It’s more than the manic part of the cycle
It’s the drip from the tip of the icicle
Ditch the roller and reclaim the bicycle
Take to the road, you’re the first one
Muscle to the pedal
And two wheels to spin you through
No need to find a way to feel,
It’s all in you
(Huh!)
Muscle to the pedal
And two wheels to spin you through
No need to find a way to feel,
It’s all in you
Words & Music © Real PD 2005
This is a lullaby in reverse
It’s a blessing but it comes like a curse
Before I make things better babe
I’m gonna have to make them worse
…Get out of bed!
We’re here to wake your mind up
We’re here to wake your mind up
We’re here to wake your mind up
We’re here to wake your mind up
You think you’re sitting comfortably
But no, you’re paralysed
By sightings of celebrities and
Diets for thighs
Your higher aspirations have long been on the slide
…Now dare to dream!
We’re here to wake your mind up
We’re here to wake your mind up
We’re here to wake your mind up
We’re here to wake your mind up
Oh get up, get up
Get out of your lazy head
So get up, get up
Get out of your head!
The Queen is in her counting house
The Monkey Man is It
When he plays Tag there’s just one snag
He blows the world to bits
There’s power in the ballot box
And in sharpening your wits
Somnambulance a way of life
For the mentally unfit
So we’re here to wake your mind up
We’re here to wake your mind up
We’re here to wake your mind up
Waking your
Waking your
Waking your mind up
Words & music © Real PD 2004
If Hitler was alive today
What would he make of Eurovision
Would it be filmed by Riefenstahl
All icy cold and black and white?
She’d whip away the pleated skirts
To reveal the milkmaids
With their honed and milky Nazi thighs
As dry ice swirls round fascist tits
They’d cut off all the Balkan bits
And declare war on any ditty with a gypsy flavour
She’d synchronise the claps
And keep it under wraps
When a ladyboy from Tel Aviv tried to upstage her
‘I film the truth as it is…
Nothing more’
The triumph of the bang-a-boom
Spotlight in the torture room
Is it art or propaganda
Or mere naivety?
Votes pour in with prejudice
You help perpetuate the myth
Which world leader would you point your camera at today?
For every victory of will
There’s got to be a victim
A triumph of conformity
Over those who wouldn’t fit in
You know who’s in your audience
And how to sell it to them
Those strapping boys go down so well
Perfectly in unison
A festival of beauty
The destiny of nations
Are these icons truly archetypes
Or merely your creations?
Who’s gonna step up to the mic
Sing out against the brand new Reich?
Democracy
Under cover of the Right
My camera tells the truth
And nothing more
The triumph of the boom-a-bang
The dissidents can go and hang
Another night, another long knife baby
She’s shading shadows on the light
Uniting Europe in her sight,
Her vision
She’s a tall Teutonic lady
The triumph of the bang-a-boom
Searchlight in your living room
The statues fall so sweetly now
With such choreography
Votes pour in, and get ignored
From the box Goebbels applauds
He knows we’ve backed a winner
In a puppet on a string
So
Bang-a-boom!
Leni Leni Leni la-la
Boom-a-bang!
Leni Leni Lulu Lulu
Heidi Heidi
Ho-di-ho-di-Heil Hitler!*
* Please note: Adolf Hitler's deeds were wicked and his ideology was clearly evil . This song has a purely satirical intent.
Words & Music © Real PD 2007
There’s a road in the town where I grew up
A road that’s a little strange; let me explain
There’s just one house on Mandeville Road
The outbreak of war meant
The building plans were way-laid
Nineteen-fourteen
But in my mind’s eye
The houses stretch on for miles and miles
No fighting came to spoil the game
And fear is just a name
I want to live on Mandeville Road
Where there is no war
And the people next door
Are kind and open-minded
I want to stay in Mandeville Road
They got lazy lovely afternoons
And joy in all the rooms
There was fear in the years when I grew up
But then it seemed that the veil got lifted
And we knew
That the people who lived in the foreign streets
In the foreign towns
Were people too
But now it feels like we’ve rewound
We’re razing progress to the ground
And the loudest sound
Is bombers pounding towns
While people cower
I want to live on Mandeville Road
Where there is no war
And the people next door
Are laid back and civilized
I want to stay in Mandeville Road
Where they’re all well-read
And they go to bed
Only when it suits them, yeah
But in my mind’s eye
The houses stretch on for miles and miles
No fighting came to spoil the game
And fear is just a name
We’ll hold a march on Mandeville Road
Hand in hand
Make a human stand
Against the haters and oppressors
I want to dance down Mandeville Road
Crank up the music of love
Till it’s loud enough
To drown the engines of destruction…for good
Words & Music © Real PD 2005
Deutschland (A Slip of the Tongue) {1986}¯
Driving down the Autobahn
It is Friday night
a pale ghost haunts the rear mirror
Is it wrong or right?
Ja ja ja ja ja ja
Ja ja ja ja ja ja
We could not decide
Should we take a ride?
Moving like an oilslick
Through the Bundesrepublik
Ja ja ja ja ja ja
Ja ja ja ja ja ja
The sight of a Strumpfhose
Floatin' through the breeze
A psychedelic toilet
Invades my mind's eye
Only memories of Weimar light up the grey sky
Ja ja ja ja ja ja
Ja ja ja ja ja ja
Words & Music © Real PD 1986
I’ve been waiting for a long time
Nothing’s happening
If the answer is yes you can send me a text
Oh-oh-a-ah
If the answer’s no
You know where you can go
I put myself at your disposal
I think I made a good proposal
Now I really need to know
Are your pants on fire
Or is the truth still out there?
I need a release
Not an increase in grief!
Here comes the relief:
Let’s conjugate - I want, you want, we want etc
If the answer’s not yes
Then, you know what, I couldn’t care less
I put myself at your disposal
I think I made a good proposal
Now I really need to know
Are your pants on fire
Or is the truth still out there?
Tango! Hotel! Echo! Romeo!
Alpha! Lima! Papa! Delta!
…time to mull it over
mmmmm…
If the answer’s not yes
Then, as I previously told you
I couldn’t care less
But if the answer’s not no
I might just give it a go
(Tango! Hotel! Echo! Romeo!
Alpha! Lima! Papa! Delta!)
No relief this time:
I waited for a long time
And eventually
Nothing happened
Words & Music ©Real PD 2005
Woah don't go
Please stay with me today
Wey-hey don't say you'll be back another day
What is this pain
that's eating me away?
I am dying
Why can't you see
It's getting harder
(he said it)
It's getting harder
(I said it)
Woah don't go
Please stay with me today
Wey-hey don't say you'll be back another day
Is this wrong?
Or is this right?
(wee-oh)
Am I losing the mental fight?
It's getting harder
(he said it)
It's getting harder
(I said it)
Woah don't go
Please stay with me today
Wey-hey don't say you'll be back another day
I've worked so hard hard hard
Worked so hard for all my life
But your cutting comments
Slice through me like a knife
Wey-heu don't say you'll be back another day
Woah if you go
Then
DON'T COME BACK AGAIN
Words & Music © Real PD 1985
Stop me dreaming
I'm frightened my hopes will never emerge
Stop me dreaming
You're the realist around here
after all
So lay your hand on my shoulder
And gently remind me that we're no more than grains of sand
Minute drops in the ocean
Tiny blades grass in magnificent mountains
And I might believe you
I might believe you after all
I might believe you
I really think I might believe you after all
Stop me dreaming
I'm frightened my hopes will never emerge
Stop me dreaming
You're the realist around here after all
But instead I realise
That it's the 21st century so
What does it matter?
Insignificance could be fame
If you look at it through the mirror
Well
Do you believe me?
I think you might believe me after all
Do you believe me?
I really think you might believe me after all
It'll be all right
It'll be all right
It will be all right
It will be all right
It'll be all right
It'll be all right
It'll be all right
It'll be all right
Stop me dreaming
Words & music © Real PD 1987/2007
From the beckoning city sky-scrape
to this altar to plate glass
We pass
And even though I'm leaving
I know this time won't be the last
No no
Oh tell me tell me sir
Is this a location?
Or simply on the way to somewhere else
A nowhere station?
Oh tell me tell me now
Can you please find me a friend?
'Cause I've dedeuced
At Waterloo everybody's reached their journey's end
Can you tell me where we are?
(Oh I know where we are
But I'm speaking philosophically, y'know?)
From the rat infested tunnels
to narcotic waiting rooms
We're drawing comfort onto posters
which promise 'Something's Coming Soon'
Oh tell me tell me sir
Is this a location?
Or simply on the way to somewhere else
A nowhere station?
Oh tell me tell me now
Can you please find me a friend?
'Cause I've dedeuced
At Waterloo everybody's reached their journey's end
Can you tell me where we are?
(Oh I know where we are
But I'm speaking philosophically, y'know?)
Ready packed and processed, here I am
Ready to devour
Like a tin of Spam
This is how you catch your prey
You abuse 'em like a trolley
On a shopping day
You know there's something I don't like about this place
So just wipe that smile from offa yo face
We're a funky-fresh crew
And our name's PD
We make BBQ sauce from you sucker MCs
So that's the truth
We're bustin' loose
Our raps are meaner than the noose
Get outta my way
No more delay
Just listen 'cause PD has come to play
(Where we are
Where we are)
Can you tell me where we are?
(Oh I know where we are
But I'm speaking philosophically, y'know?)
Words & Music © Real PD 1987
Anxieties of modern life
Are thrust upon everyone
And you either obey
Or throw them away
But remember
There's always a scapegoat...
The world is full of people who keep rushing around
But all their worries go into the ground
Have you ever wondered where the worries go?
Think of the ones who live below...
Pity the earthworm
Think about how it feels
Pity the earthworm
You know the hurting's real real real real
Pity the earthworm
Think about it
Think about it
Pity the earthworm
Think about it
You don't seem to appreciate the facts of existence
For underground creatures
Pity the earthworm
Some people let go through artistic flair
Some people speak out with spikey hair
Pity the eternally bald
They get restless when we get bored
Pity the earthworm
Think about how it feels
Pity the earthworm
You know the hurting's real real real real
Pity the earthworm
Think about it
Think about it
Pity the earthworm
Think about it
No you don't understand the meaning of underground activities
Pity the earthworm
Pity the earthworm
Words & music © Real PD 1986
Lopsided¯
I’ve been on the receiving end
Of affections unreciprocated
And it’s not an easy place to be
Yet I can’t quite comprehend
Why you look at me with eyes so jaded
When I’m longing for your company
It’s the very same situation
Playing out in lives across the land
Someone wants to reach out
Someone withdraws a hand
I don’t want a drama or a crisis
Come on all tragical and unrequited
When the truth is ever so mundane
Our love is lopsided
It’s not that I think you’re cruel
To keep pretending to ignore the elephant
That is my Big Big Love for you
Nor is it that I’m a fool
But in your presence I can touch salvation
So I know I’m gonna stomp on through
It’s the very same situation
Playing out in lives across the land
Someone wants to reach out
Someone withdraws a hand
Well I can’t afford to go round moping
Thinking that my life is blighted
But I can’t help feeling so off-balance
When our love is lopsided
Yeah-eh yeah-eh yeah-eh-eh-eh
Yeah-eh yeah-eh yeah-eh-eh-eh
Yeah-eh yeah-eh yeah-eh-eh-eh
It’s been going on so very long now
And though you’re never gonna love me right
I kid myself that on the scraps you throw me
I’m going to grow up taller in your sight
You’re the moderate to my extremist
In the theatre of our love
With a firm belief in your affection
I’m initiating all the hugs
I’m the flicker on the candle wick now
You’re the breeze that wants to fight it
But if there’s any way I can ignite it
You know I won’t let you go…
It’s the very same situation
Playing out in lives across the land
Someone wants to reach out
Someone withdraws a hand
I don’t want a drama or a crisis
Come on all tragical and unrequited
When the truth is down to earth and plain
Our love is lopsided
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I la-la-la love you more than you love me
But that’s OK
Because stuff like that happens every day
Stuff like that happens every day
…Our love is lopsided
Words & music © Real PD 2005
I’m gonna throw a party
Where the theme is mistaken identity
Gonna invite everyone
Who I ever got confused with someone else
It’s gonna be wild
Burl Ives and Charles Ives
Hobnobbin’ in the corner
Charles is crooning over some dissonant jam of Burl’s
Or should that be
The other way round?
Agnetha Faltskøg is brought out of her reclusehood
To swap showbiz anecdotes
With Jane out of Rod Jane and Freddy
Teddy Asquith, meet Teddy Edward
I’m gonna have a party with lots of famous people it’s true
But at the top of my invitation list will be you
Because
I mistook you for a lover
I mistook you for a friend
I mistook you for someone
I want to see again
Will you forgive my disappointment
When you are finally unmasked
As superficial and cheap
When I thought you were class?
I’m gonna throw a party
It’s gonna be swell
Mighty Mouse compares undies and capes with Danger Mouse
Who, in turn, compares his eye patch with Gabrielle
I let David Nixon off the hook for Watergate
And Richard Nixon for having no magic
Isaiah Berln will be tinkling the ivories
And Irving in the corner writing a treatise
I really hope everyone
Is able to come
Even that woman from the supermarket
I once mistook for my mum
Oh yes I’m gonna have a party with lots of famous people, it’s true
But at the top of my invitation list will be you
Because
I mistook you for a lover
I mistook you for a friend
I mistook you for someone
I want to see again
Will you forgive my disappointment
When you are finally unmasked
As superficial and cheap
When I thought you were class?
Yul Brynner and Duncan Goodhew
Bryan Adams and Ryan Adams
Gerry Adams and Gerry Garcia
Captain Beefheart and Sergeant Pepper
Jimmy Somerville and Herge’s Tintin
Fiona Apple, meet President Banana
Morrissey meets Morrissette
Donna Tart and Richard Cake
Moby Dick and Moby Grape
Faith No More and Patrick Moore
Lionel Blue and Lionel Blair
Margaret Blair and Tony Thatcher
Michael Fish meets Fanny Craddock
Kiss me, Oliver Hardy!
Words & music © Real PD 2005
Die Vögel machen Neste
from my Essensreste
Die Vögel machen Neste
from my Essensreste
Die Vögel machen Neste
from my Essensreste
Die Vögel machen Neste
from my Essensreste
It is wrong to be wasteful/
It is sinful to be miserly
It is good to be bountiful/
To be stoic in the slender years
See the birds fly down;
Let the birds be your teacher.
Do you know what it means
To vögeln?
Words & music © Real PD 2005
Why Doesn’t Love Make the News? {1992} ¯
No paparazzi hiding underneath their table
On that winter evening
In the Latin restaurant
They hired no taster
To taste the wine that glowed so deep
And no reporter
To scribble down each whispered thought
She drove home
Her head so full of promises
Inside her flat turned on the TV and the light
Newscaster moans ‘The pound has dropped
And we are sunk’ and
‘Another sick man has given up the fight’
And she says
This must be the greatest thing that I’ve experienced
So won’t you tell me why
Why doesn’t our love make the news?
He was a man with a loneliness to carry
Handcuffed heart-luggage
A nagging kind of pain
But the comfort of a friend soothed away his sorrow
The ones who do the greatest things never look for fame
Just like a silhouette
Upon a coloured window
Unnewsworthy features
And arms stretched out to space
He sensed that he was walking on the pages of a story
With a happy ending
In an almighty embrace
And he said
This must be the greatest thing that I’ve experienced
So won’t you tell me why
Why doesn’t love make the news?
This must be the greatest thing that I’ve experienced
So won’t you tell me why
Why doesn’t love make the news?
(‘Cause when you’ve tasted hope
and everyone’s despairing
you want to find a transmitter
and just start
to speak the message that
if you could be so daring
look this way cause love will not reject a broken heart.)
Words & music © Real PD 1992
Flies buzzing
Pulmonary
Bald patches
Grass smokin’
Open fire
Fresh cadaver
Exhibit A: Poison dagger
(Poison dagger
Poison dagger
Poison dagger)
Broken features
Magazine cover of
Darkness
Pencil shading
Faded glamour
Seaside shagger
Sex section
Mental
Poison dagger
(Poison dagger
Mmmm poison dagger
Poison dagger
Lala la la la
Poison dagger
Lala la la la)
Hit me!
Denigrate
Creatine
Supplemented bloodstream
Pole performance
Stained glass dream
Ingested contact
Poison dagger
(Lala la la
Woah-oh yeah woah ooh-ooh
Woah-oh yeah woah ooh-ooh
Woah-oh yeah woah ooh-ooh
Poison dagger
Poison dagger)
Words & music © Real PD 2005
Well you gave me high five
And I put it there
I felt strangely alive
Felt a spark ignite
The kindling and the lighted taper
Two giggling schoolkids on a caper
Your smile’s a promise of what comes later
And I put it there
the cycle of love and hate
of hope and despair
sucks me in again
a whirligig of a whirling void
should hold on to my soul but I put it right in there
just to see what happens…
Signature on the dotted line
(Well let’s seal the deal)
I put it there
And I’ve seen all the naughty films
So I put it there
Your guiding hands give me assistance
Along the path of least resistance
A milestone in my mundane existence
I put it there
the cycle of love and hate
of hope and despair
sucks me in again
a whirligig of a whirling void
should hold on to my soul but I put it right in there
just to see what happens
A full stop on the sentence we wrote
I put it there
There’s a bag in the hall
Well you put it there
And there’s a bin labelled ‘Sin’
And I put it all right in there
No one promised that our meeting
Would lead to something more than fleeting
Guess I finally got your meaning
When you said my
Trigger needed squeezing
’Cause the barrel of the gun to my temple is freezing
But don’t worry ’cause
I put it there
the cycle of love and hate
of hope and despair
spits me out again;
blinking into the light
I convince myself it was cathartic
that I’ve grown through painful experience
and I can’t wait to throw myself back in there
just to see what happens…
Words & music © Real PD 2005
Calling all my gang now
Cause there’s a brand-new-kaboom-kinda-dance now
Do the Existential Angst
Stand around and flail now
Put your hands in the air
Let your mind derail now
Wave ’em like you don’t exist
Gang of philosophers
Shopping for meaning
Couldn’t come home till they’d bought the ceiling
But then Mummy got mad
And they bought the farm
Materialist philosophers
Shopping for meaning
Couldn’t come home till they’d bought the ceiling
But then Mummy got mad
And they bought the farm
How many individuals
Push back the boundaries of human knowledge?
Got a hunger to break new ground
We want penetration
Break through the ceiling of our limitations
And our ears will hear new sounds
Gang of philosophers
Shopping for meaning
Couldn’t come home till they’d bought the ceiling
But then Mummy got mad
And they bought the farm
Materialist philosophers
Shopping for meaning
Couldn’t come home till they’d bought the ceiling
But then Mummy got mad
And they bought the farm
Calling all my gang now
Time to get up ’cause the doorbell rang now
Where’s your sense of urgency?
Raise the roof with knowledge
Reality TV is intravenous porridge
Rip the drip
And set yourself free
Gang of philosophers
Shopping for meaning
Couldn’t come home till they’d bought the ceiling
But then Mummy got mad
And they bought the farm
Materialist philosophers
Shopping for meaning
Couldn’t come home till they’d bought the ceiling
But then Mummy got mad
And they bought the farm
Uh-oh, Mummy’s getting mad
Uh-oh, Mummy’s getting mad
Uh-oh, Mummy’s getting mad
Uh-oh, Mummy’s getting mad
Spent a lifetime looking for Dad.
Words & music © Real PD 2005